Today I went to school for half of the day. I first had science, which was rather good as I got a revision guide that can help me when I am not in school. I then had Latin, and that was really fun. We played this bingo game using latin words instead of numbers and though I dont know much Latin due to my not being there, I still got a few right. I missed most of my next lesson, English, as I had to talk to the head of year, Miss Cripps and the pupil support woman, Ms May. We spoke about a powerpoint I had made about my experiences and what I have been through the past few years. I also put a few pictures in with my hair just growing back after chemotherapy. As I have been bullied over my ill health by some girls in my class over the past few years, I felt it would be a good idea to help them understand. I thought it would be unfair to single them out which is why I decided that I would like to do it in front of the whole class. We were to discuss why I couldn't do it. I'm still not one hundred percent sure why I cannot do it. I will never be able to do it as the school have said no but I stand by what I think. That it would be the most effective, general method of getting those who dont understand get to know a little more about what I have been through. I felt it was a rather good idea as noone else was doing anything. I am rather dissapointed with the outcome but teachers come before students unfortunately.
I then spoke to my form tutor. It upsets me as I feel as though she never supports me or in fact our class. I feel like she just goes on what everyone else says. Today, as I was upset, dissapointed and angry with everything that had gone on, I just thought that our old form tutor was the best and I know that he would have definately stuck up for me and supported me through everything.
It amazes me how after a conversation, they tell me not to tell my friends what they have said. They want me to keep all my distress, feelings about these situations and stressful conversations I have to myself. Surely that is the worst thing anyone could possibly do. Bottle their feelings. The hospital that looks after tells me to always express how I feel about everything. I feel like they are just sweeping it under the carpet.
I am truly sick of the sayings " they dont understand" or " thats life " or " moral high ground."
I have a little cough and have some tummy ache but on the whole feel quite well. Im feeling stressed too but there is not much I can do about that.
Have a lovely evening
Sometimes youve got to say yes and get on with it
even if you dont want to